Saturday, December 19, 2009

Jag är förvirrad. . . (I'm Confused)

For the past few days, I have been trying to get over this guy that I fell in love with. Mahirap. Super.

Right now, someone, well, actually the guy friend in my previous post, La Meme Histoire, has been going out with me. From now on, we will call him Chuck. Complicated din ang buhay pag-ibig nya.

Bakit ganun? Lahat na lang yata ng nadadatnan ko, complicated ang mga previous relationships!?!?!?!

anyways

Weeks after Nate and I "broke up", he has been hearing chismis in our office na Chuck and I were dating. Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling yun. During that time, Chuck and I were not even friends at that moment and we never see each other. . . Until we became close just recently. . .

Hindi pa din ako nakaka-move on kay Nate. . . even while typing this blog entry. . .

I know I have been flirting with Chuck for the past few days now, weeks after Nate and I "broke up". Even up to this day. I don't know if I am falling in love again or if it's just infatuation. Chuck told me that he likes me. We never kissed, held hands or hugged each other. Well, sa text lang namin nagagawa yun. Hahaha!

I enjoy being with Chuck. We enjoy each others company. We like hanging out. He told me that he is having feelings for me na. . .

Now, this is the problem. . .

I feel like a slut. Hindi pa ako nakaka-move on kay Nate tapos ine-entertain ko na naman ang isa pang lalaki?!?!? I think its kinda unfair for Chuck. But then again, I know that my feelings for Chuck are steadily growing. Am I just cheating on myself and cheating on Chuck?

When I told Chuck that I still have feelings for Nate, he was surprised. I just told Chuck that we will never talk about Nate anymore. He understood that. But at the back of my mind, I still hope that Nate and I will be together soon. . .

Am I just using Chuck just to get over Nate? I love Nate. I'm starting to fall for Chuck. Nate doesn't want commitment as of this moment and he is super busy. Chuck wants to spend more time with me. Nate has been talking with me and willing to go out with me on a date. Chuck has been talking with me and willing to go out on a date with me. Nate wants friendship. Chuck wants to start a relationship.

I still love Nate.

I'm starting to fall for Chuck.


Please help me, Heavenly Father!



Pouvez-vous, s'il vous plaît, aidez Gaspard. . .

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