Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ett öppet brev till Nate (Another Open Letter for Nate)

think this is gonna be the last time I will be able to talk about this. I know that you didn't really want to talk to me. You don't even reply to my text messages but that's okay. 

You know what, I thank you for everything that you did for me. I thank you for showing me who I really am. For letting me be true to myself. I thank you because you understood me when no one was able to. Thank you for appreciating me. 

I'm sorry for all the things that I wasn't able to do for you. 
I'm sorry for the promises that I broke and never kept. 
I'm sorry that was one of the people that you trusted and yet, I screwed things up big time. 

Nate, you don't know how much you mean to me. You're the first guy I have fallen in love with and that is something that I will definitely cherish and remember. 

Thank you for showing me that you cared. 
Thank you for believing in me. 
Thank you because you waited for me, eventhough I'm always late. 
Thank you for the hugs and kisses that I shared with you. 
Thank you for walking with me. 
Thank you for spending the few private minutes of conversations at smoking areas. 
Thanks for letting me taste that yummy chocolate cake that you bought from Choknut (Tama ba ang ispeling?). Thanks for the wonderful memories of eating ice cream together (isip bata pa din yata ako!). 
For watching a movie with me. 
For showing me that there are really some people in the world that are worth living for. 
For making me feel loved.

Nate, I love you. You don't know how much it broke my heart when you decided to break things up with me. You taught me that I should be more careful with my heart. How I should not fall for someone easily. You taught me how to be mature and be a man. 

I have to tell you this. 

Pero wag ka na magalit! XP

I kept a copy of your blog entries about me. I will treasure those short pieces. For me, doing that is like saying that I have been a part of your life. Kahit na sandali man lang. You don't know how proud I was to be yours. 

For the past few days, I kept on praying for God to give me strength and to enlighten my mind. I know at this point that you will never come back to me. If that's what makes you happy, then I will be happier for you (cheesy but true... hahahaha). 

But please, I don't want to see you get hurt again. I never want to see you cry. Lalong ayoko na may makitang pasa sa mga braso mo. At kapag may nanakit sayo, hahatawin ko ng dos por dos ang #@*!% yun, okay? 


I want you to take care of yourself. 

I know that you are a wonderful guy and I know someday, you're gonna find your real soulmate. Your other half. And please, once you have seen that person, never let go. 

Nate, be strong. 

Whatever challenges that you may encounter, and if you need help, I know that God will always be there for you when I won't be able to. 

As I type this, I'm wishing that I could get one last hug from you (masama ba mag-wish?!?!?! :P ). 

I will definitely miss you. 
I wish you luck and happiness. 
I wish you love. 

And before I close this chapter of my life that solely revolved around you, I want to tell you that you really are a special guy and those ex-boyfriends of yours are fools for letting you go and not appreciating how special you are to a soul. 

Kaibigan, mag-ingat ka palagi. Huwag mo pabayaan ang sarili mo. 
You know that I'll always be there for you when you need me. 

By the way, I'm still keeping that French phrasebook you gave me. It's handy kasi eh.

Muli, kaibigan, nandito lang ako. You know I got your back.

Ako si XP.

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