Monday, July 26, 2010

Jag är kär i dig!!!!!!! (Crush!)

Crush. Mahirap maintindihan. I thought you're only supposed to have crushes while you're still at highschool or elementary. Mga ganung age. At since ganun pa din ang mental age ko, may mga crush ako. Hihihi.

I like going on go-sees and VTRs because, for one reason but not the sole reason, is because I get to meet good-looking and hot guys. Yeah. There are two types of guys that you will see at VTRs. Good-looking ones and hot ones. Ang galing nga eh. Parang may convention ang Candy at Cosmo Magazine sa tuwing may VTR or go-see.

At hindi ko na namamalayan, nagkaka-crush na pala ako sa kanila. Hahaha!

Let's enumerate.

Ang dami na! Naipon na kasi! Hahaha! Pero ang pinaka-latest ay si..... KIM GANTIOQUI!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Ang sarap nya anuhin.... yakapin.... hehehehe. And the best part ay nakasabay ko na sya sa isang commercial before at several go-sees and VTRs. I think Nate and Kim have the same height, or maybe Kim is shorter. Yeah. First name basis na kami ni Kim. Hehehehe.

So ano ang natipuhan ko sa kanya? His smile! And his eyes! And his skin! Actually, I never thought that I will have a crush on him until I saw him in person. And we were like standing next to each other! Ang sarap anuhin talaga... ano...uhmmm... yakapin... hehehe.....

If you try to search his name on Facebook, obviously, there will be posers. A number of names were on the list, but due to connections and common friends, at magkapitbahay lang pala ang schools namin, I was able to trace the real one. (Parang stalker lang eh.)

I try not to drool over him actually. Hmmm. Kilig to the bones. Hahahahahaha!

It's fun to go on VTRs! Hahahahaha!

Det Regnar (It's Raining)

Badtrip nga naman diba??? Haaaay. Nanghihinayang talaga ako sa latest escapade namin ni Beau!!! Bakit pa kasi umulan! Why! Why! Waaah!

But before we go on that, I have to type this on my blog.

For some odd and wonderful reason, I got to spend the whole day with Beau sa work. Kasi lahat ng officemates ko, as in lahat, ay either absent or its the off from work. I got to spend the whole day with him. We ate together, sat right next to each other, went to the bathroom together (LOL), laughed throughout the whole day. I can't believe na na-solo ko sya for one whole day! Hahaha!

Okay. Let's go back...

WHY! WHY! Kung kelan kami lalabas tsaka pa umulan! Grrrr!

This is what happened....

So there was just the three of us. Me, Beau and a girl officemate (bumasag ng trip namin... joke lang). Right after work, we went out for a few hours sa videoke and food. I was kinda wondering why the hell was this girl with us, but she was nice, pinagbigyan ko na lang. Hehehe.

After we ate, we went to Greenbelt to watch a movie since it was still raining hard and we have no way of going home kasi wala kaming payong. We were just walking and walking and walking. Actually, we have no way of killing time since the movie that we were supposed to watch, The Last Airbender, was still hours away. (I don't care if that movie had bad reviews! I'm still gonna watch that anyways!) So we were kinda getting wet na from all the walking. We were going on circles na nga eh.

My girl officemate said that she gave up. She wants to go home na even without an umbrella. Wala nang pakialam kahit na mabasa. I had to give in na din. My feet were kinda tired na din eh. So we parted ways. I went straight to the bus station, buses bound south. My girl officemate took a jeep going to her place (super lapit lang ng bahay nun from Makati eh). And Beau decided to take a cab to his condo.

Minutes after we parted, just as the bus was about to move, Beau texted me. He's asking if I was still at Greenbelt. He doesn't want to take a cab anymore. AAAAAARRRRHHHHGGGGG!!! Dapat manonood kami ng movie ni Beau! Na kami lang dalawa! I was supposed to jump off the bus but it was too late. The rain came pounding down and the bus started to take speed. I sadly replied that I just hopped on a bus bound home. His reply? "Ah ganun ba? Sige. Ingat na lang. May taxi na din dito eh. Sana hindi baha."

Pang-asar talaga ang araw na yun! Bakit pa naman kasi umulan!

And I have mentioned before that Beau was gonna resign, right? Maybe on his last day sa office, I'll just tell him what I feel. Tama ba yun? Should I ask him if he's feeling the same way I do? Corny. Hehehehe. Paano kaya?

"Hey Beau, pa-kiss nga bago ka umalis!" - masyado straight forward

"Uhmmm... hey... Beau? Ingat ka palagi ha... " (then one quick hug) - pa-tweetums

"Beau, apir! Pare, gudlak sa bagong work ha!" - masyado pa-macho effect

Hmmmm.... Paano kaya...

Siguro I'll just text him on his last day. If he ever replies that he feels the same way, then I'll ask him to leave his girlfriend right away! (Hehehe! Joke lang!) Let's just see how this goes.

Iba pa din talaga sya tumitig sa akin. Nakakatunaw. Me likey!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Beau! Hehehe

Para sayo ito! Hahahaha!

Jag saknar dig inte... (I'm Not Missing You)

I love this song :D

So, is this what it feels like to finally move on? Hahaha

Jag mår bra (I'm feeling good)

Wait. I'll think of something to write muna. I'm gonna organize my thoughts muna para hindi naman laging sabog ang ita-type ko... hmm... hindi ko kaya... sige bahala na lang... hehehe

Just a few days lang yata after I posted the thing about me trying to avoid Nate, he texted me. Well, I tried not to reply but then hindi ko na din napigilan sarili ko. Hahaha. I was laughing at myself each time I reply to his texts. But you know what, something happened to me that same day. I know that I've been in love with him for the past months.... and that it was very hard for me to get over him. Is it possible for these kinds of feelings to just suddenly disappear? What I felt for him as I was typing "En Ursakt" was very strong but in a couple of days, it all suddenly vanished. Weird. At sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataong iyon. I slowly got rid of the things that will remind me of him. Astig... I felt great letting go of the things that kept me "heavy" for the past months. The texts, the pictures, the tickets.... now all gone. Finally. I've been waiting for this to happen. Madali lang pala talaga once you set your mind into it. Parang I don't have to wait that long na din pala. I didn't have to wait until next month pala. Yehey! Pero I'm not saying na I don't want to see him anymore. Siguro ngitian na lang kapag nagkita sa hallway or somewhere. Kamustahan na lang. No more expectations. I feel so free. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh!


Bakit ganun? Nawala na ako't lahat lahat sa school, may mga gossip pa din na lumilibot?!?!?! Hahaha. Ang galing! Kasi yung mga guys na I least expected to be gay ay mga sugo din pala ni Lady Gaga. Cool. Hehehe. At dito ko din napatunayan na maliit lang talaga ang mundo. Sa sobrang liit ng muna, mapapamura ka sa bwisit. Joke lang. Hindi ako nagmu-mura. Bad yun. Bata pa ako eh. LOL.


Eto na naman. Wala na namang patutunguhan ang mga pinagsususulat ko. Hahaha.


Ang sakit ng likod ko! Grabe talaga. Feeling ko nga ang tanda ko na eh. Then I've realized na bente años na ako! OMG! I feel so old. Tsk tsk. At ang aking New Year's Resolution na mag-work out at mag-weights everyday, wala na! Hahaha! I said na I will go to the gym everyday na, right? I didn't happen at all. What happened? I work out and lift weights naman.... Twice a month.... Hahahahaha! Ang tamad ko talaga. Buti nga for some reason, biniyayaan ako ni Ama ng super active na metabolism. Kahit ano nga pwede ko kainin eh. I'm gonna eat pizza later! Yummy!


Bad trip ako sa work ko! Haaaaaaay. As in for some reason, I got tired of going to work. Maybe because of my bitchy boss. I hate her. Not really. Uhhmmm. Okay. Fine. I hate her. She's being unreasonable. Now I know that the devil really does wear Prada. And LV. And Gucci. Ggggrrrrr. Maybe I'll resign soon. Hehehe


Speaking of work, Beau will resign soon! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Now I feel sad. Wala nang manlalandi sa akin. Hahahaha! But eventhough he's gonna go away soon, his actions towards me are still weird. And funny. And cute. Hahaha!


I watched Cinemalaya 2010 at CCP and also a Japanese play at my school. Nice. It's nice to soak yourself in the "arts". LOL.


Ano pa ba ang maisulat?


I'll study French this coming August! Yehey! I'm super excited!

I guess that would be it for this time.... PIZZA TIME!!!! Nom nom nom :D

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Isa na namang Update!

Ang kulit naman ng Beau na ito! Feeling ko in purpose na nyang pinapasakit ang ano ko.... yung ulo ko... hehehe...

Scene: Nagkukulitan ang mga officemates. Lumayo muna ang ibang officemates kasi pupunta sa CR. Biglang lumapit si Beau. Tila may gustong sabihin kay Gaspard.

Gaspard: BWAHAHAHA! ( hindi maka-get over sa joke ng isang officemate )

Beau: Bakit ang gwapo mo? ( with a weird smile on his face )

Gaspard: Huh?!? ( Medyo mapapangiti. Tititig sa mata ni Beau at sabay tatawa )



At eto na naman si Jampong! Nagmi-misskol na naman sa phone ko! Hindi ko alam kung bakit lagi na lang kumakalat ang number ko. Haaaay...


Beau and I kinda went out on a date. Sort of. Ang weird. At first, bigla nya akong niyaya na mag-shopping muna ng clothes for him. Kami lang dalawa ang lumabas. He was always asking me if this looks good on him or if this fits him well... Nagmo-model sa akin ang mokong. Hehehehe. Afterwards, we ate at Sbarro. But then a friend of ours came. Sigh.... nambasag ng trip ang bruha.... (hahahaahaahha)


 Highlight of the Week! (actually, one of the many highlights of this week...)

My boss, his friend, another officemate, Beau and I went out for a night of videoke.

It was super late na in the evening. I was kinda worried na wala akong masakyang bus pauwi ng "probinsya" namin. Beau suggested that I stay over at his place. He wanted me to spend the night there. He said na baka mapagod lang ako sa kakahintay or baka may mangyari pa sa akin sa daan. And by the way, he mentioned that we're gonna sleep on the same bed (yyyiiiiihhhheeeee!). At etoh pa! Wala ang girlfriend nya sa condo nya! His offer was kinda hard to resist at first. I was like, eto na ba ang hinihintay kong sign sa kanya? (LOL) But at the end, I chickened out. Ayoko muna. Ang weird eh. Is he saying na he's into me and he's really not straight?!?!?!? Ang gulo! Ayoko naman sya tanungin!

Ano Beau! Ang gulo mo ah! Gusto mo bang isubsob ko yang nguso mo... sa nguso ko??? Hahahahaha!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

En Ursäkt (An Apology)

I am really sorry. I have been obviously avoiding you. After work, I go straight out of the office. I don't wanna bump into you at all. It's not because of something you did. I'm just not ready to meet you face to face. Because if I do, I'll see another reason to fall. I know this has been months na. I shouldn't be doing this at all. I know that there is really something wrong with me. I am emotionally unstable (hahaha).

I sincerely apologize for deliberately not replying to some of your text messages. I'm sorry that if I do reply, either its super late or it seems like I don't even feel like talking to you at all. But honestly, I would love to talk to you again, but I don't think I can do that now. Each time you text me, I actually think over and over and over if I'll reply or not, kaya nga if I do reply, super late na. I'm not ready to start a conversation yet.

I'm doing this to give myself time to get over you. So far, I think this is the most effective way of forgetting how I feel for you. Maybe in time, I'll be a real friend to you.

But you know what? I appreciate every little thing that you do. I was kinda surprised that you texted me at 2:30 in the morning. You told me to always take care and be a good boy. I replied as casually as possible pero kung alam mo lang... that simple message meant a lot to me eventhough that message is just ten words long. Sorry that I have to shun you away. I know you'll do great even without my existence.

Next month is gonna be August. It's almost gonna be a year since the day that I met you. It was August 7 of last year that my life started to change. Sigh. If I feel lonely and I wish that you're beside me, I just close my eyes or look at your pictures stored inside my phone. I just smile then think of happy memories. That habit, I know, will soon end. Slowly, I am getting rid of things that remind me of the "thing" that we had. That's why I had to do this. I already lost you last year. I don't want to lose you as a friend because of what's going inside my head.

I am giving myself one complete month. And I hope that if I get to meet you by the seventh of next month, expect that I have completely changed. And that I can smile straight to your eyes like a real friend. I'm giving myself 30 more days to complete this change.

I am sorry that I'll be disappearing temporarily. I know this won't affect you that much anyways eh. I'm just telling you, so that you'll know. Again, I'm sorry. Goodbye for the mean time. I hope to see you next month.

Now, my countdown begins. It was nice falling in love with you. Take care.