Thursday, September 30, 2010

Att göra eller inte göra (4th Part)

He asked me "What if my partner all of a sudden arrives here? Will you have the guts to face him?"

That made me think. I said yes, like any arrogant young man.

"No. Wag mo gagawin yun."

I should hide under his bed along with all my stuff. Make sure that I'm in the very corner and should be as quiet as a mouse. Don't forget to turn my phone off. He will trick his partner to go down somewhere (like go buy something at a nearby convenience store). Once the place is empty, I should swiftly dress up, get all my belongings. Turn my phone on. Wait for his cue. Once I get the go signal, I will lock his condo, use the stairs to go down one floor and that's where I will take the elevator.

So thats the game plan?

He asked me to not think that he's treating me badly. Frankly, I don't care. He told me that we'll keep this a secret from his partner as long as possible. Gago si Luch. Alam ko. At alam nya din yun. His arrogance and being conceited, his being carefree and selfish makes me like him even more. He even compares me to his current partner. Alam ko iniisip nyo. Weird but true. I dunno why.

But you know what, for the past few days that we have been together, he brings out the wild side, the devil in me, while I bring out the sweet and thoughtful guy in him. Ano ba yan! Gaspard! Remember! Yung walls mo! Don't let them tumble down!

Anyways, going back, I have been enjoying myself. I am happy with what's going on. Hmm. Not really.

I never imagined that I will be the "other guy" in a relationship. I asked Luch kung hindi ba sya nagi-guilty sa mga nangyayari sa amin. He answered that nobody owns him, not even his partner. I was kinda taken aback. Doesn't he even care about what his partner will feel once he knows that we're kinda seeing each other na? "Kaya nga dapat atin atin lang ito eh."

I've learned that he has never introduced his partner of 4 years to his closest friends. That he can't do the same things that he does with me with his partner.

When he was sleeping, I was just watching him. Staring at his face. I know that what I'm doing is not right. He told me that I shouldn't be guilty. I was disappointed with how I was acting. I am disappointed with myself. Hindi naman daw kasi malalama ng partner nya eh so walang guilt dapat. I realized that he was right. They're still together, 4 years and counting, without his partner not even knowing what's really going on....Magaling nga sya magtago....


We have been seeing each other often now. Just last night, we had dinner together. Nagkukulitan. Eventhough he is 10 years older than me, parang wala ding age gap. LOL.

He has a partner. Alam ng mga friends nya yun. And his bestfriend knows what happening between Luch and I.

He called me at 4:17 in the morning. Why? Just because he missed talking to me. He made me smile throughout the whole day.

He makes me miss him. Darn. But I'm still sure of my walls.

He asked me to not make my walls too high.

We were laughing while we were strolling under the moonlight.

I feel bad and disappointed with myself. Respeto lang naman sa partner nya.

He asked me what I wanted for his birthday, aside from him.

We were planning on a trip for two to Boracay or Baguio. We're now even planning on spending New Year together.

He wanted our secret to last. Just between the two of us.

Our little secret.

Watch out for the fifth and final part....

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