Kinabahan talaga ako nun! Alam na ng boyfriend ni Luch yung number ko! Haaaay nako...
This is how it happened...
Luch and I were just watching TV sa livingroom nila (yeah, kilala na po ako ng kanyang mga magulang at kamag-anak at feeling close na din ako hehehe), when I checked my phone...
actually, my phone was just inside my pocket...I was waiting for a text message from my sister...when I didnt get to hear it beep or even vibrate, I checked it kung meron ngang message...
This is the part the made me shout "oh my God". Crap.
Naka-unlock ang phone ko. (weird kasi touch screen sya)
May outgoing phone call.
I asked Luch if he knew the number that my phone "pocket dialled"
Number yan ni ******! (boyfriend ni Luch)
Hindi ko alam kung sadyang pinaglalaruan lang ako ng tadhana (LOL. Sobrang tagalog. Hahahaha) or talagang may saltik lang ang phone ko.
Sa dinami dami ng mobile number na pwede ma-dial accidentally ay number pa ng boyfriend ni Luch!
May hypothesis naman kami ni Luch kung paano nangyari yun...
Kasi, earlier that day, kinukulit ko si Luch habang natutulog sya. I was making his phone ring like someone's calling him....at kapag gising na sya at malapit na nya sagutin ang phone, I hung up... hehehehe... masarap sya kulitin eh... lalo na kapag natutulog. LOL
So nasa recently dialled numbers ko yung number nya
so MAYBE, for some odd reason, my phone unlocked itself, went to the recently dialled numbers and replaced Luch's number with his boyfriends (Luch's mobile number is almost the same with his boyfriend's except that the last digit in Luch's number is a 5 and his boyfriend's a 4)
Is this a warning? A premonition that I should stop now?
I asked Luch...and he said that we shouldn't stop, now that we're a "couple" and we're both happy being with each other. At the back of my mind, I know that there will be something much worse that will happen in the future. Luch doesn't want me to go.
At that exact moment, I was weighing the consequences. My mind told me that what I'm doing is completely insane, selfish, irresponsible, disrespectful, slutty, and all the negative words that I could think of. But my heart told me that I'm in love and I'm happy being with him.
I know that some of you guys have gone through something that is similar to what's happening to me right now. And I guess you know how I feel...
At that point, I was just hoping that Luch will realize that this won't work. But I can't tell that to him. I never want this to end. I fell in love with him badly and so did he.
"Panindigan mo naman ako, Gaspard. Kasi ako pinaninindigan kita at ang mga mangyayari sa atin."
Instantly, my worries and fears were gone. He's gonna be there for me. I just know that he was sincere. He loves me. For real.
That night, we slept on the same bed, hugged, kissed me and he held my hand until I fell asleep. I could rest in his arms forever.
He is the sweetest guy that I have ever met. Ever. I really didnt know when and how it started but falling in love with him is soooo easy.
The first time I met him, he told me that he hasnt met a guy yet na makakapagpatino sa kanya. Maybe, just maybe, I'm gonna be that guy. I asked him why is he still going out with me. Why is he risking his happy relationship just to be with me. He has more things to lose when this goes out and his partner knows about this.
His answer took me by surprise. Honestly, the moment he said that, I know that I will fall for this guy. My walls began to tremble and crumble to pieces. He told me the difference between the right guy, the ideal guy for you and the perfect guy.
He told me that I'm the right guy for him. The ideal guy. And he will not waste a moment or not grab the opportunity to be with me. Luch... I used to think that he was just playing. I didn't know that he's taking me seriously.
And so we met. As each day passes, the guilt and the feeling of being the other guy slowly fades. He told me to never ever think that I am the "other guy".... or even say that I'm the "K" word... kamote... hahahaha! Kabit! hahahahaa! He even makes me laugh eventhough we're talking about very serious matters. Now I miss him...
By the way, if you might have noticed na paulit-ulit na lang ang tinatype ko, pagpasensyahan nyo na. I just cant help writing about Luch.
He asked me to come with him to Bulacan. He wants to introduce me to his family. And since he is not out, he's gonna introduce me as a friend from the office. I didn't know that Plaridel's far from Makati. Hahaha! Anyways, the trip was not that boring since Luch kept on talking and talking and made me laugh throughout the whole trip. At the back of my mind, I was really nervous about the things that will happen. Will his relatives think na snob ako or hindi approachable? Those were the questions that kept on ringing inside my head. Sigh.
The tricycle ride from the highway to his place took like forever. I was in awe. A complete change of scenery. Imagine! From the very urban Makati, we were like transported to a very rural Plaridel. Probinsyang probinsya talaga... but I liked the fact that for a weekend, I can enjoy the cool and clean breeze, the warm weather, far from the worries and lights of the city.
By the way, meron silang malaking santo sa loob ng bahay nila. I almost peed on my pants when I saw that. Nakakatakot! hahaha! I'm 5 feet 11 inches and it's taller than me! I cant even stare at its eyes. Baka kasi gumalaw na lang bigla at kausapin ako.
Saturday with his family went smoothly. I was able to meet his relatives. His parents, sibs, cousins, in laws and so on. I even got the chance to meet their pigs and dogs. Hahaha!
This is the best part of that Saturday. He took me on a bike ride to their farm. It felt like I'm with him someone in the south of France or Italy cruising past yards of vineyards. Well, actually, mga palay ang nandun. Hahaha. And he kissed me on the lips. We went in circles in their beautiful farm. I wished that ride never ended.
We came back and had dinner. I was so sure that the day after will be more beautiful.
And it did. But it was also tiring. You see, his dad is running for a position in the barangay and Luch's kinda in charge of almost everything. And being the helping hand, tumulong ako. (duh). We were also preparing for a party for the young people there. But its not only the young people who came, pati na din ang mga "mature and older" people. Hehehe.
This was the eve of my 21st birthday and I was preparing spaghetti, namili ng ingredients para sa handa (and nalaman ko din kung saan talaga gawa ang sisig), nagpapa-usok ng baga para makapag-grill para sa liempo, chopping newly fried (as in yung kakagaling lang talaga sa kumukulong mantika) tofu into cubes and so on. I was determined na magpa-bibo sa mga relatives nya. hahaha!
All of a sudden, he brought out a cake. They lit the candle up and they started singing me a happy birthday. It almost made me cry. There I was, dugyutin, pawis na pawis at amoy usok, inaawitan ng mga taong kakakilala ko pa lamang. Luch had planned all of these things. It touched me so much that I almost felt that a tear might run down my left cheek. That was the sweetest thing a guy had ever done for me.
After dinner, I was super tired that I just didnt want to take a shower anymore. I just wanted to sleep. I went to bed and feel asleep immediately. Mahimbing ang tulog ko nang bigla na lang ako ginising ni Luch. May dala syang wet towel. I thought that this day couldnt be any better. I thought wrong. Pinunasan nya ang buo kong katawan. Pinalitan nya din ako ng damit like I was a baby. Pogi points na naman! Hahaha! Then he kissed me goodnight again.
At hindi pa nagtatapos dyan ang kwento. Bigla na lang ako nagising. 12 midnight and I'm now 21. He wished me a happy birthday. And then he said it. Three words. Eight letters. He was mine. And I knew at that instant, that I was his.
This is a letter to Juliet, if by any chance you are Juliet, please give me advice. I would really appreciate it. And if you're not Juliet, read on. Para naman may pampadagdag din ng advice...
I dont know how to start. Whenever I'm falling for someone, I tend to be stupid. Really stupid.
I met Luch last month and things were pretty good between the two of us. I'm into him and he's into me. We met each other just to have sex and that's it. Well, we kinda liked what we did and so we met for another day... then another... We started to see each other more often, and not to have sex. We started to like each other's company. We cuddle a lot and say stupid things to each other. He makes me laugh. I think I make him laugh. LOL. We make each others day better. We go out for dinner. We talk for hours about anything that we can think of.
Things were pretty getting out of hand. I was starting to fall in love with him. And he is starting to fall for me too. The bad thing is that he is already in a four year relationship with his boyfriend.
I really dont want to ruin a relationship just because I am too selfish and emotionally unstable. It really unfair, lalo na sa partner ni Luch. I already told this to Luch, and just doesnt want to listen. He keeps on justifying something that we both know is wrong in the first place. No matter how you look at it, he's unfaithful and I'm the 20 year old coincidence.
I really dont care about anything when I'm with him. I know that we were already in love with each other but we just to want to admit it to one another. I just thought that maybe, we're just playing...
I was wrong. What I felt for him for the past few weeks grows as each day passes. I know that I'm stupid for falling in love with him too quickly. That's just how I am. When I feel like he's the right one, my walls begin to tremble.
Juliet, I don't know what to do. I know that one day, he will have to choose between the two of us, eventhough he keeps on telling me that it wont happen. I know that he will choose him over me. If his partner ever knows this, I'm screwed. I have no right to be mad at him. Respeto lang.
I am the one to blame. If I didnt meet him in the first place, this would never happen.
Juliet, this is not the first time this happened. I met this guy, Chuck, a year ago. During that time, he was with his partner but he wanted to stay with me too.
BAKIT AKO HABULIN NG MGA MAY BOYFRIEND NA? Badtrip naman.
Luch is the sweetest guy that I have ever met. He's always honest with me.
Juliet, should I stay or should I go? Please help me. I fell in love. Am Stupid. Again.
It's my birthday today! I just turned 21 years old a few hours ago... And I feel soooo old... Hahhahaha!
My birthday wishes?
sana yumaman ako at maging isang sikat na artista
isang umaatikabong love life!
a healthier life
a stronger family
repentance for the wrong things I've done
to be goal oriented
food! (matakaw pa din ako)
more opportunities to make myself a better person
more career opportunities
isang katerbang lalaki... hahahha!
Be a good boy! hahaha
basta... ayan na muna... things will always fall into their proper places when the right time comes... I am happy that I have great things going on for me... I cant wait to be more mature (?) and become independent (hopefully soon... I want to have my own place na!)