Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pas San Toi

This song is for you...

Actually, you're the one who shared this to me, right?

You tried to listen to this eventhough you dont understand a bit of French and I have to translate it... Hahhahaha

But still, I love you...

Luch, I love you :D

Sèche tes pleurs
Refais-moi ce sourire
Celui qui ne fait pas vieillir
Ni mon âme ni mon corps
Je t’aime encore...si fort....

Sunday, November 28, 2010

den verkliga Luch (The Real Luch)

As many of you know, Luch and I have been together for quite some time now and I've blogged about him several times already.

This time, I'm here to blog about the real Luch.

As you can see, Luch is just a codename I gave to my boyfriend so I can write things about him here.

I chose Luch because he looks a lot like my collegemate/coursemate in school....when I was still in college.

Not to mention they're both hot... (I'm drooling now. LOL)

Hanggang ngayon ay isa pa din sya sa mga ultimate crush ko...hehehe. Hindi na yata ako makaka-get over sa kanya eh. Hahaha!

Eto ang ilan sa mga pictures nya online. By the way, he has been modeling for some time na din. Isa sya sa mga Cosmo Bachelors. Sya din yung may commercial sa Fita and ang latest sa kanya ay part na sya ng Hunts! ( yeah, yung pork and bean!) Ang yummy talaga! (ng pork and beans?!?!?) hahahahha!

Yung commercial nya :D

*** I got an email from the ULTIMATE CRUSH to remove the picture. His wish is my command. Anything for my Luch. Hihihi. And yes kinikilig pa din ako sa email nya. Hahaha. (Ang loser ko hahaha) ***

Nung nasa Cosmo sya...

*** I got an email from the ULTIMATE CRUSH to remove the video. His wish is my command. Anything for my Luch. Hihihi. And yes kinikilig pa din ako sa email nya. Hahaha. (Ang loser ko hahaha) ***

and this one :D

*** I got an email from the ULTIMATE CRUSH to remove the picture. His wish is my command. Anything for my Luch. Hihihi. And yes kinikilig pa din ako sa email nya. Hahaha. (Ang loser ko hahaha) ***

and I love the way he smiles :D

*** I got an email from the ULTIMATE CRUSH to remove the picture. His wish is my command. Anything for my Luch. Hihihi. And yes kinikilig pa din ako sa email nya. Hahaha. (Ang loser ko hahaha) ***

yeah...ultimate crush ko si Luch...he could probably be my dream guy... but you know what? I wouldn't trade my Luch for anyone.

Luch Zanirato/Lopez will just be one of the guys in my dreams....

But I would rather stay with the Luch that I have because he is real, I could touch him. I could hug him and spend the nights with him. I could kiss him. I could stare at my Luch for hours without getting tired. I could watch Spongebob with him and do silly stuff. I can still be a kid but he also teaches me how to become a man. My Luch made me fall in love. And I know that he loves me too. And that is the best part.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Harry Potter och Dödsrelikerna

Luch and I went out on a date the other night and we watched the new Harry Potter film at Greenbelt 3. The film's good. I already know what to expect since I have read the 7th Harry Potter book for like 3 times already. Hahaha. But I think the 1st part of the 7th Harry Potter film was able to give the audience the same feel and excitement as the book. Well, anyways, I have no plans of reviewing books or films...

I'm here to talk about that evening...

Just like any other date, we ate first. (parang ang pangit ng intro ko ah). I was in the mood for KFC so we went there. We were in Greenbelt anyways so we decided to eat at the KFC there.

While we were eating, I told him that this KFC for me is special... I know I sound weird right now but I dont care.

That KFC branch was the same branch where Nate and I used to go. Why? Its far from work. Far from people who knows us. I told this to Luch.

Luch already kinda sensed why I feel that that place was special so he wasnt really surprised with what I told him.

Yeah. I still remember what it was like eating there with Nate. I remember the details. But the feeling's no longer there.

At last, Im happy eating in my special KFC with a guy I know who's also in love with me.

I still wasn't able to eat a lot because I was sick for a couple of days. I didn't have the appetite to eat tons of food eventhough KFC's heart attack on a bun tastes amazing. Well....for me.....

After dinner, we get to take out 2 pizza rolls or whatever you call them. Hahaha.

To tell you the truth, I kept on telling Luch how excited I was to watch that film. I was like a little schoolgirl with pigtails. Only almost 6 feet tall. Hahahaha...

The film started. The light were low. I didn't really expect Luch to do that but he did anyways. He held my hand. He rubbed and massaged it. He really is sweet. Our hands were intertwined. I know there were tons of people there but whenever I'm with Luch, I didn't care even some people would stare. Whenever Im with him, it feels like we're the only two people alive here on earth.

Sigh. The power of love. Mapapa-english ka talaga. Hehehehe.

When the film was over, we went home na din agad. It's just Thursday and we both have work the next day.

So why did we watch it on  Thursday night? Kasi mas konti ang tao. Hindi masyado hassle. And we cant do it on a weekend kasi it's Luch time with Joe, his other boyfriend.

I know what I signed up for. And I also know its consequences. When I'm jealous, I just suck it up and be a man. Pinasok ko ang ganitong set up eh.

I almost forgot....I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday night...I had a bad dream...

which is really weird talaga...kasi I almost never remember my dreams. But this one is vivid and almost life like...

Luch was about to go to New Jersey. Why New Jersey? I dunno either. At eto pa. Sasakay daw sya ng train from Makati to New Jersey. Hehehe. Tapos sabi nya sa akin na hindi na daw kami magkikita...tapos bigla na lang sya nawala. Then I was chasing his train, just like in the movies, but I wasnt able to catch him at all....then Luch woke me up...

Luch was like "Huy! Huy! Gising! Gaspard!"

When I woke up and became conscious of what's happening, I realized that I was crying. That real tears were pouring down my cheeks. When I realized that he's still there, I hugged him and made him promise that he wont leave me and go to New Jersey.

Hiyang hiya talaga ako at nangyari yun. Buong umaga ako inaasar ni Luch. Bad trip. Ginagaya nya pa ako kung paano ako umiyak. Hehehe

I love my Luch sooooo much....he will always be mine

I know Im selfish. Ganun talaga eh.

Thanks sa treat ah bebeboy ko! I love you sooooo much!

Thanks nga din pala kasi ipinagluto mo ako ng masarap mong adobo.

I really love spending nice evenings and pigging out with you sa condo mo.

Condo? Oh yeah...my new "home" pala...

det förflutna (the past)

It was kinda really weird for me seeing Chuck again. For those who has been reading my blog for quite some time now, you might have read someone named Chuck.

For those who doesn't know him, Chuck is a former fling, at isa din sa mga guys na attached na pero gusto pa din maging unfaithful with me. Alam ko. Lagi na lang ako lapitin ng mga may sabit at attached na.

If you want to read our story, just click here and this one too. And there's another one that you can read....most of the Chuck parts of my blog were posted last december and january.

Anyways, nagkita na nga kami ulit.

Kunwari wala lang nangyari sa amin... hahaha

natatawa na nga lang ako ksi parehas kaming patay malisya sa isat isa...cool

ang galing ng acting naming dalawa...

when a common friend introduced us with on another..

"Oh by the way Gaspard, this is Chuck. Chuck, meet Gaspard."

We were like AWKWARD!!! Nagkatinginan lang kami sa mata tapos ngiti na may ibig sabihin. Parang joke na kami lang ang nagkakaintindihan. Hehehe.

Ayun lang... buti na lang maigsi lang ito..heheh

By the way, hello Nate? Musta na? :D

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

en månad :D

It has been one month na din pala...Ang bilis talaga ng panahon...

Dati, "bagets" ang tawag mo sakin...

Ngayon, "bebeboy" na....

Ano naman kaya sa mga susunod na buwan o taon?

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita Luch

Ewan ko ba kung ano ang pinainom mo sa aking gayuma. Buwisit ka. Hehehe.

Love you, bebeboy ko!

blödning kärlek...

Click on play first before actually reading this entry...Para mas may impact. At para mas jologs na din. LOL.

You might be disturbed sa mga masasabi ko. Humihingi na ako sa inyo ng sorry. Hehehe

!@#$%^&*&^%$#! talaga!

At first I was really kinda hesitant to post this kasi I think this is waaaaay too private and well...medyo nakakadiri...

This is what happened...

I was constipated and my butthole ached for like two days na. I dunno what happened. Maybe I ate something or what. Anyways, since the weekend's done, I get to see Luch again.

And since we didnt get to see each other for quite some time, and we haven't had sex yet in that week, we did it. We really missed each other sooo much we were kinda rough on each other.

For those who has been reading some of the entries here in my blog, I think I mentioned that I bottom for Luch. And I have no plans whatsoever for doing it for another guy kasi hindi ko talaga trip yun.

On that evening, I was really praying na wala munang mangyari sa amin kasi ang hapdi ng asshole ko. Pero nagwagi na naman ang tawag ng laman. And not to mention I really missed him that much, I did it anyways.

And its was the usual great hot monkey sex. You get the picture. We were all over the place. Hahaha. After almost 2 hours, we're finished. I got up, took a shower and we both slept.

I went to work early in the morning and as I was doing my usual work routine, I felt something wet in my pants...I went to the men's room agad to check what it was..

I almost vomited... (hahaha! O.A.!) Hindi naman. I was kinda shocked lang kasi my ass is bleeding.

Ang first aid na naisip ko? Punasan ng maraming tissue ang pwet ko, maghugas then get more tissues and put it in my boxer briefs. I feel like a girl with her period...complete with the "inis", "gigil" and "buwisit" factors.... Hassle talaga.

I texted Luch. Sorry sya ng sorry. Sorry daw kasi nanggigil sya...but he was sweet at nag-aalala sya. Kapag nagtagal at madami pa daw ang dugo, pumunta na ako sa clinic namin.

I just cant imagine myself going to the clinic then sasabihin "Please help me. My boyfriend just fucked me big time and now my ass is bleeding. Do you have tampons?"

No way!

And so, I just kept on going to the men's room to change every 4 hours... tsk tsk...ang weird pala ng ganung feeling. Now I know how girls feel.

After almost a week of changing my "tampons", the bleeding, as well as the constipation (yehey!) stopped!

Ganun lang pala ang gamot sa contipation. Normal na ulit ang pagdumi ko. LOL. Too much info ba? Sorry...

Anyways, we did it again last night. And it was like one of the best that we had so far. My ass is cooperating now and it does not give me bolts of pain anymore whenever he enters me. Pero hindi naman sya lumuwang. Hahaha. Ganun lag pala yun. Mind over matter. Or ako muna dapat on top. Hahahaha..

I know na nadidiri na kayo sa topic na ito so I will stop na...hehehehe

förtroende frågor (trust issues)

This one is waaaaayyy overdue na. This happened on the 13th. I dunno what came into me. Maybe my senses. Hahaha. Anyways, you be the judge.

It started right after we had lunch sa Glorietta. Sa isang fastfood chain. Syempre nabusog na naman ako. At kapag busog ako, kung ano ano ang naiisip ko. Nakita pa nga kami ng co-workers ko eh.

I was kinda surprised kasi nakilala pa ako nung mga co-workers ko na yun. Alam ko kung ano ang naiisip nung mga mokong na yun..." Uyyyyy...si Gaspard, may date...."

Anyways, this entry will be kinda serious..and not that long...

The following are exchange of messages between Luch and I.

I was asking him if he's faithful to "us" na... And I told him that I have eyes and that kapag niloko nya ako, malilintikan sya sa akin....

When I took the bus going south, I texted him that I enjoyed lunch with him and mag-ingat sya...He was gonna meet his other boyfriend eh. He didnt reply.

I was texting him for like dozens of times na and hes not replying. Na-bad trip yata sa ginawa ko.

Gaspard: Where are you na?

Luch:  U have "eyes" dba? Use them.

Gaspard: Please?

Luch: Nah... Ask your so called "eyes".

Gaspard: My "eyes" dont work if theyre not in front of the computer.

Luch: Whatever.

Gaspard: Sorry na Luch.

Luch: Sorry is just a word for you. It has no meaning na everytime you say it.

Gaspard: The 1st time we met, I asked you kung may nalalaman yung bf mo sa mga ginagawa mo. You answered na wala kasi magaling ka magtago. I know you told Joe na you'll be faithful to him. That he's the only one in your life. Look what happened when you and I met. I think you now have an idea why its hard for me to trust you na you're not looking at other guys. If you can do it to someone you love in all those 4 years, ano pa kaya sa akin na kakakilala mo pa lang? Make me trust you. Please. Because I dont wanna lose you. Make me believe you. Im really in love with you and I cant bear the idea that you're still seeing someone else. Please tell me what should I do to get over to paranoia.

Luch: I dont know.

Gaspard: See. Pati ikaw hindi mo masagot. Thats why Im always like this. I know Im shallow and close minded. I just cant bear to think that youre with another person. I love you so much and Im willing to sacrifice a lot. All I need is something that will tell me that "Luch is being faithful" or "Luch is behaving the way he should". And that you've changed. I cant find that thing yet if your actions contradict what youre saying. So please make me believe you. Make me trust you.

Luch: I dont know.

Gaspard: Youre breaking my heart right now by saying that you dont know how to prove yourself to me. I love you Luch. Mahal kita ng sobra sobra. I hope you can answer y question soon. Please.

Luch: Isip mo yan. Not mine. Pareho kayo ni Joe. You both think na malandi ako. Well, kaya siguro ako naging ganun dati kasi ganun sya mag-isip sa akin. Pinanindigan ko na lang.

Gaspard: Joe is an entirely different person from me. If he though of you that way, at tinotoo mo lang, Im asking you to be faithful. To be loyal. Sa una pa lang, talo na ako. Pero pinasok ko ito kasi mahal na kita. I met you when youre being unfaithful. Please change for me. I really wanted to be the one who could change you. Remember you told me na wala ka pang partner na nakapagpatino sayo? Im praying na ako na talaga yun. From now on, Im gonna shut up and not talk about this. But please I hope you can answer my question soon. Ayokong mawala ka Luch.

Luch: Ayaw mo akong mawala? Then wag mo ako pag-isipan ng masama! Kung ganon man tayo nag-start, I told you naman na kayong na lang 2 diba? Ano problema mo?

Gaspard: This will be the last time Im gonna be like this. I'll believe you and I'll take your word for it. But I just have to tell you this. If there's gonna be just one instance that I found out you're cheating on me, Im out. Thanks for somehow answering my question. Hindi na ako mag-iisip ng masama sayo. You can think of a consequence kung magdududa pa ako sayo. Im willing to take any punishment.

Luch: Kapag na feel ko again na ang tingin mo sa akin ay pokpok na pumapatl kahit kanino, wala ka nang maririnig sa akin. Ako, never ko ikaw pinag-isipan ng ganun, even kay Joe. Never ko naisip na cheap kayo na guys. Hindi mo alam ang feeling na ang tingin sayo ay slut!

Gaspard: Im fine with that Luch. Sorry if I made you feel this way. At least you can now see things from my perspective. I've learned new thing from you. I hope you'll understand how it feels to be in my position. Im gonna shut up now. I wont bring this up anymore. Again, sorry Luch.

Luch: Whats next Gaspard? Ano ang next na drama mo? Hindi na ako natutuwa ha.

Gaspard: Wala na Luch. I just hope this will make us stronger. Dont leave me.

Luch: Hindi ako nang-iiwan ng bf unless pagod na ako...Wag mo hayaang ma-feel ko sayo yun.

Gaspard: Binigyan mo na ako ng last warning eh. Hindi ko na papaabutin sa ganon. Mahal na mahal kita Luch.

Luch: I hope so nga...Matulog ka na.

Gaspard: I have one last favor to ask of you Luch.

Luch: Ano?

Gaspard: Sabihin mo naman sa akin na mahal mo pa din ako, kahit na shallow ako, retarded, close minded at paranoid. And that you can accept my flaws. I love you Luch.

Luch: Kahit naman ganon ka, I love you pero please change...Matulog ka na nga!

Gaspard: I will Luch. Kung gutom at pagda-diet natitiis ko na eh. Promise me we'll be together when we're changing. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita bebeboy ko....

Luch: Wag ka na magduda please...Swear wala na ako time for other guys pa. Mahal na mahal kita...Happy na ako sa inyo ni Joe..

Gaspard: Hindi na talaga Luch. Im not gonna raise this issue anymore. I get your last warning. I promise I'll change. Luch, mahal na mahal din kita...

Luch: Please change kasi ako, I changed na the day we met...

Gaspard: I believe you Luch. Sorry if Im like this pero sana nakuha mo yung point ko kanina, kung ikaw ang nasa position ko... hindi na kita pagdududahan. I promise I will change na. Ayoko mawala ka.

Luch: I trust and believe you naman...sana ikaw din.

Gaspard: I hope youre still with me while im changing ha. You dont know how much I care and love you. I just cant bear the idea na iiwanan mo ako. Basta I'll change na :)

Luch: Oo naman. Magkasama tayo.

Gaspard: Wait lang. May aayusin lang ako...

Luch: Mahal na mahal na mahal kita Gaspard...

Gaspard: I just died. Hehehe. Love you too Luch ko. Text kita in a bit.

Luch: Wag ka muna mamatay...magsasama pa tayo forever...

Gaspard: Thats sweet. Nilalanggam ako dito. Hahahaha...Basta our last warning sa isat isa ay malinaw....Hindi na mauulit..

Alam ko nakakaumay ang ka-dramahan sa post na ito. Hahaha. Paulit ulit din ang mga nilalagay ko. Anyways, okay na ulit kami ni Luch....

And yes, just so you guys know, I indeed have eyes, not only sa internet....it really is amazing what private investigators can do for you...hahahaha....

Monday, November 8, 2010

Luch Pojkvän ( Luch's Boyfriend)

It was Luch's sister's 18th birthday and I had the opportunity to be her escort on that day. I actually prepared for that days since its not only gonna be Luch's family who's gonna be there but also his partner. Yup. Just this Saturday, I met the "legal one".

Of course at first I didn't know what to do on that day but Luch kept on telling that it's gonna be fine as long as we stick to our "script".

Here it goes...

I started working with Luch since February this year. (False.)

It just so happened that we're on different departments. (False. We work at two different companies.)

I met Luch through a common friend, a batchmate from college. (False. I just met his friends/officemates recently. We met at Facebook. LOL)

Luch and I are just friends. (False. Errrr... Yeah. False.)

I was supposed to be with another officemate/friend but then she ditched me because she was so drunk last night at last night's gimik so I was the only one from our office who was able to make it. (False. No one was coming with me but me.)

That I should not be jealous at them when they're being sweet with one another. (Okay. This would be easy. I'm an actor! LOL)

That I should be a good friend and a good boy and not be bitchy towards his legal boyfriend. (I'm always a good boy and I'm well behaved. Pumayag na lang kayo sa statement na yan. Hehehehe)


I was supposed to go to Bulacan alone since I already know how to go there but then again, Luch and his boyfriend is just around Makati at that time and they just decided to pick me up. (From now on, let's call Luch's boyfriend "Joe".)

So I was inside the car. It was just the three of us. Joe, on the driver's seat, Luch, on his right, and me, on the backseat looking utterly constipated.

I was really forcing myself to look as calm and as goodlooking as possible throughout the entire ride to Bulacan. Maybe because Joe kept on looking at me through his rear view mirror. I was having miniature heart attacks so I just pretended to fall asleep just to avoid the awkward conversations.

Luch formally introduced me to Joe when were arrived at Bulacan. And yes, just like what Luch said, he's gonna be sweet with him and I should act civil and friendly pa din. I really thought that it's gonna be difficult but the weirdest thing happened.

I was not jealous at them. And I'm the type of guy na seloso!

I was getting to know Joe more as the hours passed. He's a great guy. He's an established dentist and he's doing well for a 31 year old guy. He's in control of his life. He's a devout Catholic and God fearing. And you should have seen the way he laughs or smile whenever Luch is with him being sweet.

Joe doesn't have a clue on what's really happening on that Saturday afternoon.

The whole event went smoothly. I was able to look as dashing as possible to his sister and for some of the ladies in the party. Some of them even took pictures of me with them. (Ako na! Ako na talaga! hahahaha!)

The night ended with Luch, too tired, went to bed and it was just Joe, some of Luch's cousins and I were left. We sang, played Pinoy Henyo (Nabanggit ko na yata ang lahat ng SM sa buong Pilipinas, Mall of Asia pa ang nakalimutan ko! Badtrip!) and drank until we called it a night.

I felt at ease with Joe. Now I know why Luch can't leave him.

By the way, it was just the three of us in the same room. And of course, my bed is in between theirs. Hehehe.

On Sunday morning, I texted my friends right away, those who know who Luch is.

"Ang weird. Diba dapat nagseselos ako sa kanila? Bakit hindi? As in parang wala lang sa akin na sweet sila at harap harapan ko pang nakikita?"

"You know what, I have theories..."

"Im listening"

"Maybe you're just contented with the way things are going. That you're already comfortable with the fact that you're just the other guy in the relationship and you have no right to be jealous."

"Alam ko na seloso ako. Everytime I know na magkasama nga sila ni Joe eh hindi ako mapakali. Nalulungkot ako. Pero bakit ngayon, wala talaga akong nararamdaman?"

"This might sound negatively but do you really love Luch? Kasi magseselos ka lang naman sa isang tao kung mahal mo talaga sya eh."

This made me think. I was kinda depressed the whole morning. When Luch and I were alone, or when Joe was taking a quick shower, he told me that he loves me. And he kissed me. And do you know what I just did? I said "okay". God, I was a jerk. And I still am. I literally thought that he's about to cry when I told him about what's happening with me. He asked me if I really love him. I was speechless. Hindi ko sya masagot. I just told him I'm sorry.... He left the room, feeling quite sad and annoyed. I dunno what happened to me.

We bid goodbye to his folks and it was now the time to go back to Makati. Luch was not talking to me throughout the entire way back to the city.

They dropped me off somewhere so that I could take a bus home. The moment I left Joe's car and I know that they were both alone, jealousy hit me. Hard. I didn't know what to do.

That evening, I texted Luch tons of times. Called him but he was not picking it up.

"Mahal mo pa ba ako?"

I wanted to shout sa bahay na "Luch, sagutin mo nga ito! Please!"

Finally, he replied to my texts. I told him I am sorry for acting this way. I told him that this will never happen again. That the thought of losing him will drive me insane. I still am madly in love with him. I wanted to go back to Makati at his condo but I can't. Joe's gonna spend the night over there.

I couldn't sleep. I wasn't able to eat dinner. I kept on thinking what were they doing. I can't imagine them being alone. That's when I realized na siguro, hindi ako nagselos that time kasi nakikita ko ang ginagawa nila.

I told Luch that I love him. I asked him if he still does. And yeah. He still does. I promised that I will not do anything like this anymore. I will not doubt.

I love you Luch! Kung pwede ko lang isigaw yan....


Kung napansin nyong sabog sabog ang entry na ito, pagpasensyahan nyo na. Nagmamadali ako eh. I'm gonna meet Luch in 5 minutes....ayan 3 na lang pala....tsk tsk... ayaw nyang nale-late ako eh sakit ko na yun since pre-school pa ako... anyways, wish us luck!

I'm gonna go get my boyfriend. LOL.

Til next time, aking munting blog!


Note to Gaspard
- linisin ang grammar at mga punctuation marks
- ayusin mo na din ang utak mo, adik ka na eh
- have time to read your earlier posts, nakakahiya ang mga errors eh
- edit your stuff...tsk tsk...ang tagal mo nang gustong gawin yan eh hindi matuloy tuloy!