Of course at first I didn't know what to do on that day but Luch kept on telling that it's gonna be fine as long as we stick to our "script".
Here it goes...
I started working with Luch since February this year. (False.)
It just so happened that we're on different departments. (False. We work at two different companies.)
I met Luch through a common friend, a batchmate from college. (False. I just met his friends/officemates recently. We met at Facebook. LOL)
Luch and I are just friends. (False. Errrr... Yeah. False.)
I was supposed to be with another officemate/friend but then she ditched me because she was so drunk last night at last night's gimik so I was the only one from our office who was able to make it. (False. No one was coming with me but me.)
That I should not be jealous at them when they're being sweet with one another. (Okay. This would be easy. I'm an actor! LOL)
That I should be a good friend and a good boy and not be bitchy towards his legal boyfriend. (I'm always a good boy and I'm well behaved. Pumayag na lang kayo sa statement na yan. Hehehehe)
I was supposed to go to Bulacan alone since I already know how to go there but then again, Luch and his boyfriend is just around Makati at that time and they just decided to pick me up. (From now on, let's call Luch's boyfriend "Joe".)
So I was inside the car. It was just the three of us. Joe, on the driver's seat, Luch, on his right, and me, on the backseat looking utterly constipated.
I was really forcing myself to look as calm and as goodlooking as possible throughout the entire ride to Bulacan. Maybe because Joe kept on looking at me through his rear view mirror. I was having miniature heart attacks so I just pretended to fall asleep just to avoid the awkward conversations.
Luch formally introduced me to Joe when were arrived at Bulacan. And yes, just like what Luch said, he's gonna be sweet with him and I should act civil and friendly pa din. I really thought that it's gonna be difficult but the weirdest thing happened.
I was not jealous at them. And I'm the type of guy na seloso!
I was getting to know Joe more as the hours passed. He's a great guy. He's an established dentist and he's doing well for a 31 year old guy. He's in control of his life. He's a devout Catholic and God fearing. And you should have seen the way he laughs or smile whenever Luch is with him being sweet.
Joe doesn't have a clue on what's really happening on that Saturday afternoon.
The whole event went smoothly. I was able to look as dashing as possible to his sister and for some of the ladies in the party. Some of them even took pictures of me with them. (Ako na! Ako na talaga! hahahaha!)
The night ended with Luch, too tired, went to bed and it was just Joe, some of Luch's cousins and I were left. We sang, played Pinoy Henyo (Nabanggit ko na yata ang lahat ng SM sa buong Pilipinas, Mall of Asia pa ang nakalimutan ko! Badtrip!) and drank until we called it a night.
I felt at ease with Joe. Now I know why Luch can't leave him.
By the way, it was just the three of us in the same room. And of course, my bed is in between theirs. Hehehe.
On Sunday morning, I texted my friends right away, those who know who Luch is.
"Ang weird. Diba dapat nagseselos ako sa kanila? Bakit hindi? As in parang wala lang sa akin na sweet sila at harap harapan ko pang nakikita?"
"You know what, I have theories..."
"Maybe you're just contented with the way things are going. That you're already comfortable with the fact that you're just the other guy in the relationship and you have no right to be jealous."
"Alam ko na seloso ako. Everytime I know na magkasama nga sila ni Joe eh hindi ako mapakali. Nalulungkot ako. Pero bakit ngayon, wala talaga akong nararamdaman?"
"This might sound negatively but do you really love Luch? Kasi magseselos ka lang naman sa isang tao kung mahal mo talaga sya eh."
This made me think. I was kinda depressed the whole morning. When Luch and I were alone, or when Joe was taking a quick shower, he told me that he loves me. And he kissed me. And do you know what I just did? I said "okay". God, I was a jerk. And I still am. I literally thought that he's about to cry when I told him about what's happening with me. He asked me if I really love him. I was speechless. Hindi ko sya masagot. I just told him I'm sorry.... He left the room, feeling quite sad and annoyed. I dunno what happened to me.
We bid goodbye to his folks and it was now the time to go back to Makati. Luch was not talking to me throughout the entire way back to the city.
They dropped me off somewhere so that I could take a bus home. The moment I left Joe's car and I know that they were both alone, jealousy hit me. Hard. I didn't know what to do.
That evening, I texted Luch tons of times. Called him but he was not picking it up.
"Mahal mo pa ba ako?"
I wanted to shout sa bahay na "Luch, sagutin mo nga ito! Please!"
Finally, he replied to my texts. I told him I am sorry for acting this way. I told him that this will never happen again. That the thought of losing him will drive me insane. I still am madly in love with him. I wanted to go back to Makati at his condo but I can't. Joe's gonna spend the night over there.
I couldn't sleep. I wasn't able to eat dinner. I kept on thinking what were they doing. I can't imagine them being alone. That's when I realized na siguro, hindi ako nagselos that time kasi nakikita ko ang ginagawa nila.
I told Luch that I love him. I asked him if he still does. And yeah. He still does. I promised that I will not do anything like this anymore. I will not doubt.
I love you Luch! Kung pwede ko lang isigaw yan....
Kung napansin nyong sabog sabog ang entry na ito, pagpasensyahan nyo na. Nagmamadali ako eh. I'm gonna meet Luch in 5 minutes....ayan 3 na lang pala....tsk tsk... ayaw nyang nale-late ako eh sakit ko na yun since pre-school pa ako... anyways, wish us luck!
I'm gonna go get my boyfriend. LOL.
Til next time, aking munting blog!
Note to Gaspard
- linisin ang grammar at mga punctuation marks
- ayusin mo na din ang utak mo, adik ka na eh
- have time to read your earlier posts, nakakahiya ang mga errors eh
- edit your stuff...tsk tsk...ang tagal mo nang gustong gawin yan eh hindi matuloy tuloy!