Friday, December 10, 2010

Den Första (the first)

Our first official fight as a couple just happened a few hours ago. Weird ko noh? Pati mga fights namin recorded sa blog na ito...Hehehe...Anyways, it was kinda petty now that Luch and I are good with each other again...
Oh, by the way, I'm typing this sa office...I have soooo much time to kill so I decided on typing na lang din...and spilling my thoughts...spilling kasi lagi naman sabog ang utak ko eh...
Going back...

Nagkukulitan at naghaharutan (ano English ng "naghaharutan"?) kami ni Luch sa bed nya. Niloloko ko sya kasi we were watching America's Next Top Model. Then he was commenting on the girls/models. Tapos he was saying kung sino daw ang mananalo. And he's asking me to look at the pictures. Ininis ko sya...

"Luch! Bakla ka talaga! Fan ka ng America's Next Top Model noh?"

"Hinde! Kasi nakita ko lang sa Facebook yan...Ikaw talaga!"

"Weh? Feeling ko every week mo pinapanood yan eh! Kilala mo nga yung mga girls eh."

"I just like looking at their pictures, bebeboy."

"Wushu! Bakla ka talaga! Eh bakit may DVD ka ng Project Runway?"

"Hahahaha! HINDI AKIN YAN! HAHAHAHA! Sa friend ko yan!"

"Bakit nandito!?! Ikaw ah!"

"Dont worry. Makikilala mo din yun. Hahaha!"




And so we were able to finish the whole show and then it was time to call it a night and sleep. At dahil makulit at isip bata pa din ako, hindi ko sya pinapatulog. At dahil sinasakyan ako ni Luch sa aking pagiging teeny bopper ko (I dunno what the hell it means but it sounds cute so I'm gonna use it anyways), nakipagkulitan din sya.


I have this fear of ghost eh (sino ba ang wala, diba?). Kahit na niloloko lang ako, kinikilabutan talaga ako. Ang problem kasi, I overthink at kapag nangyari yun, mapapaginipan ko and I wont be able to sleep again. Tsk tsk. Ang gustong pang-asar ni Luch sa akin ay yung kaharap ko sya tapos bigla na lang magkukunwari na may nakikita sya sa may likuran ko. I hate it. Feeling ko talaga kasi meron eh. At syempre, dadaganan ko sya at pilit na yayakapin. Naaasar talaga ako kapag ginagawa nya yun. Madalim kaya sa condo nya kapag gabi at patay na ang mga ilaw!
So napagod din kami sa kulitan....






COMMERCIAL: Binigyan ako ng Christmas card ng officemate ko ngayon ngayon lang. Ang sweet. I prefer simple things than magagarbong regalo. I love messages because they last longer than tangible gifts. Napaka-sentimental ko. Hahaha. So alam nyo na ang ire-regalo sa akin ha! (example; isang thoughtful message, pero dapat naka-engrave sa isang iPhone 4 or isang short poem na ikaw ang gumawa na nakasulat sa gold plates)





going back...



So napagod din kami sa kulitan and it's time to go to sleep na. I realized that it was a Thursday night na pala and we wont see each other again. Sa Monday na ulit kasi his other boyfriend, Joe, will be here. I joked him na buti na lang, may gagawin ako this weekend.


"Bebeboy, buti na lang may gagawin ako this weekend."

"Ah ganun ba?"

"Yeah, buti na lang may booking ako."

"Ah talaga? Ako din eh. May ime-meet din ako sa The Fort."

"Weh. Kasi sa akin bebeboy, totoo talaga. Yung taga-4th floor, remember?"

"Ah siya ba? Kasi ako si _ _ _ _ eh (I hate this guy for some reason...pina-blatter ko na nga sa mga pulis eh)."

"Whatever. I know you won't. I have eyes bebeboy. I'll know what you're gonna do."

"Kaya nga I wont go to the gym tomorrow eh. I'm gonna meet _ _ _ _."

Dito na nagpantig ang tenga ko. It really pissed me off. Alam ko na nga ang itsura at name ng mokong na yun eh. Nako! Wag syang magawi sa daan ko kundi bilang na ang araw nya. Badtrip.

The whole night, I didn't even bother talking to Luch. I was mad at the thought of him meeting up with other guys. He said that he was just kidding and that I shouldn't take that seriously. But its too late. Na-badtrip na talaga ako.

Kahit na niyayakap nya ako. Kahit na niloloko nya ako na may multo sa likod ko. Kahit na hinahalikan nya ako. Astang bato lang ako.

"Bebeboy! Last night na natin ito magkasama this week! Hindi mo pa ba ako yayakapin?"
Wala. Walang epekto. Masyado ako nabwisit sa kanya.

"Sinakyan ko lang ang joke mo. Nanguna ka tapos mapipikon ka? Bahala ka."

Natulog kami. Nakatalikod kami sa isat isa. Hindi ako makatulog. Mainit pa din ulo ko. Hinimas nya ang likod ko. Hindi pa din ako kumibo.

Its 3am na. Hindi pa din ako makatulog. I tried going around the condo. Looking for something to do. I checked the door locks. Just to see if they were locked or not. (Hindi ko kasi matandaan na na-lock ko eh.)

Akala yata ni Luch, aalis ako ng condo. Bigla syang bumangon. Nagulat ako. Akala ko kung napaano sya.

"Uy! Bakit? Matulog ka na. Maaga ka pa bukas." I said it without any hint of being sweet or anything.
An hour passed. He was already sleeping. I gave in. I can't stay mad at him anymore. I hugged him until I fell asleep.

In the morning, he didnt even kiss me. He didnt even talk to me. Parang wala syang nakikita.


"Im sorry."


He did his usual morning routine. He's still ignoring me. I was sad. I screwed up a night that was supposed to be wonderful and lovely.

"Luch. Kausapin mo naman ako."

He's still not talking to me."

Ewan ko ba. Whenever I feel hopeless and depressed, I curl like a baby and try not to cry, which Im bad at. Imagine. Im a big/tall guy. Curled up in a ball. Trying not to cry but then there are tear tracks already in my cheecks. I felt so alone.

He gave in. He kissed me. His sweet kiss. We apologized to one another. He does know how to make a kid feel good. Eventhough he's 10 years older than me, he tries to understand my immaturity. I feel that he loves me eventhough Im an effin retard. Sigh. Ako na! Ako na ang maganda!

We hugged each other tightly. Tears were still falling down sa cheecks ko.

"Bebeboy, yuck naman. Basa na ang shoulder ko. Alam mo ba na aside sa pawis at sperm, ayoko din ng luha ng iba sa katawan ko!"

"Alam ko pero wala akong pakialam! Mahal kita Luch."

"Mahal din naman kita Gaspard."

He went to work na. I know I love this guy. And I know he loves me too.

"Uy! First time natin nag-away ah! Ilalagay ko ito sa blog ko ah!"

"Pppfffttt!"

I know what we're doing is wrong no matter how you look at it. Ganito talaga. Kapag mahal mo na ang tao, wala nang pero pero.


_______________________________________


Just recently, my college friends and I met and they noticed something different about me. They told me that when I smile, there are sparks. That I look better than before. That I'm in love. They can sense it.


_______________________________________


He went to work. I stayed a bit sa condo nya for an hour and a half more. Humiga ako sa kama nya (namin). Nandoon pa din ang amoy nya. Inisip ko, oo nga. Nasayang lang yung gabi dahil sa kaartehan ko.

Nakangiti akong bumalik sa bahay (dahil hinahanap na ako ng aking mga magulang!) Hindi na daw ako nauwi! Hahaha!

Inisip ko na lang. Pampalubag loob, kumbaga. Sa lunes, kasama ko na naman ulit sya eh. Babawi ako sa aking bebeboy.

Kung binabasa mo ito Luch, patay ka sa akin! Takutin mo pa akong may multo sa likod ko, malilintikan ka na talaga....





One last thing.









Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita...See you on Monday bebeboy ko...

2 comments:

engel said...

lq's are healthy. good to know nagkaayos din kayo. madalas din kami ni kid na ganyan before. mababaw na di pagkakasunduan lang. :)

Gaspard said...

pero i hope kung mag-away man kami in the future ulit ni Luch, sana naman its gonna be something na malalim. hahahaha. maybe I still need to learn a lot about relationships...