Thursday, January 20, 2011

Luch and Gaspard (PART II)

This post will be his side. Im typing this based on what I understood from him. Pero Luch, just in case you're reading this, you're free to edit this.




I was in the taxi. I texted him again.

"Ang galing mo talaga. Gudnyt bebeboy :)"

He replied.

"Im here"

"Saan? Sa fire exit?"

"Yes."

"Pinapapunta mo ba ako dyan?"

"Yes."

"Wait lang bebeboy ha. Hehehe"

I sounded sarcastic. At that point I didnt care what he was thinking. I just know na magsisinungaling lang din sya.

And so we met again. Sa fire exit. He was sitting sa stairs. Staring at me. I wasnt able to hold my emotions anymore. I burst into tears.

I went on with my speech. Saying how much I loved him. That I was willing to sacrifice everything. That I was disgusted with the way I acted. Kabit na nga lang ako...

I was getting louder. I was starting to raise my voice. He asked me to follow him. I did. He asked me to follow him inside his unit.

Ang nasa isip ko nung panahon na yun, ipapakita ba ako ni Luch kay Joe? Nasisiraan na ba talaga itong si Luch? Malaking gulo iyon.

Nagulat ako nang nakita kong walang tao sa loob ng condo, not like what his text told me.

He asked me to sit there on his bed. We were both staring at each other. I was acting like an asshole. I didnt care about him anymore at that point.

I started with my speech again. That I was really mad at him. That he was a jerk. Tarantado. Bastos. I told him what I saw. Everything. From the chatlogs to the web screenshots. From the sex invites, the orgys and the number exchanges.

Finally he answered.

He told me that he likes flirting. But that's it. Yes he gives his number and teases them online but he never meets up with any of them. The reason for that, he loves it when people praise him. He loves people saying that he's hot or he's handsome and that tons of guys out there would want to be with him. Hindi ako naniniwala doon, lalo na at nangyari ito.

Now, he answered why "this" happened. I told him that I planned to entrap him. Nagkataon lang na nag-aaway kami dahil kay Beau.

This is his story...

Luch was really mad and sad when he read my post about Beau. He thinks that I went out on a date with Beau. Walang straight na lalaki ang lalabas kasama ko. Nang kami lang dalawa. Nang kakain. Nang magvi-videoke. Na mag-a-alok na manood ng movie. Na tinitingnan at inuusisa ang aking itsura. Na makikipagtawanan habang nasa bus. Na magku-kwento nang buhay pag-ibig nya. Walang straight na lalaki ang ganoon. Mali daw ang aking sagot nang sinabi ko na bored lang ako kaya ako sumama kay Beau. Hindi daw ako mag-e-enjoy kung ang goal lang namin ay magpalipas ng oras. Luch told me that he knows and he senses that I still like Beau.

Kung naglihim daw ako kay Luch tungkol sa "date" namin ni Beau, gagawin nya din daw ang paglihiman ako. At ang naisip nyang paraan ay ang pakikipag-meet nga sa isang taong nakilala online. Nasaktong lang na ako yun.

Nung mga araw na sinabi nya sa akin na huwag muna akong pumunta sa condo nya kasi nandun si Joe, nagsinungaling lang daw sya. Gusto nya muna mag-isa. Pakiramdam nya na pinagtaksilan ko sya. He wanted to get even with me. He told me na ito ang isa sa mga masama nyang ugali.

He told me that he cant focus on work because of what he had read in my blog. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. The words that I typed in that post rings inside his head consistently. He has my blog pulled up in his computer when he goes to work. He reads it over and over. Hindi nya makuhang walang malisya yun. After work, he goes sa rooftop ng building nila. Nakatingin lang sa malayo. Kung bakit ko nagawa sa kanya na paglihiman ko sya. Kung wala ba daw talaga sa akin yun, bakit hindi ko pa nasabi sa kanya.

Tinitignan nya ang mga isang picture ko sa Facebook. He's imagining me staring at him. Sinasabi nya sa sarili nya. Nagtatanong. Kung bakit ko nagawa sa kanya yun.

At dumating na nga ang gabing ito.

Actually, on that night, before he decided to meet and do it sa fire exit, he texted na he doesn't suck and he doesn't kiss. And 5 mins lang gagawin iyon. Sa fire exit lang kasi may tao nga daw sa condo.

Nung gabing iyon, mabagal na umakyat ng fire exit si Luch. He doesnt want to suck or kiss because he said that he cares for me too much. He lied to the guy he was supposed to meet. He said that somebody's inside the condo kaya sa fire exit na lang. He lied kasi hindi nya kaya na gawin iyon sa "aming kama". Sa loob ng aming bahay. Hindi nya kaya na may iba syang makakatalik. Hindi nya gusto. Kaya 5 minutes lang. Para lang may mailihim din si Luch sa akin. Mamamatay sya kapag nakipagtalik pa sya sa iba.

"Gaspard, alam mo, dapat ikaw ang galit sa akin dahil sa ginawa ko. Pero hindi ko kayang hindi magalit sayo."

He was crying too. We were both tired.

"Alam mo Gaspard, kanina pa kita gustong yakapin pero hindi ko magawa."

"Parehas lang ang nangyari. Nagnakaw ka ng 50 pesos. Nagnakaw ako ng 1 million. Pero parehas pa ding pagnanakaw iyon."

"Nagpapasalamat din ako na nangyari ito. Kasi napigilan mo ako maging isang puta ulit."

He told me some of the things that happened in his past relationships. How that some of his other partners lied to him. How he was treated badly. Na ang tingin ng mga kaibigan ng partner nya na isa syang puta. Hanggang sa tinotoo na lang nya ang mga sinasabi sa kanya.

Nagulat ako sa sinabi nyang hindi na sila nagtatalik ni Joe. The last time they did it was in October. I dunno whether I should believe that or not.

He said that it may be weird, but eventhough that he's with Joe, he still thinks of me.





Joe told him na si Luch din ang talo. Kaninong katawan ba ang pinapagamit nya?

Pero nagbago na daw sya. Hindi na sya katulad ng dati.

Kasi mahal na mahal nya ako. Mahal na mahal.






"Mahal na mahal na mahal kita Gaspard."





Watch out for the final part...what happened to Luch and Gaspard...

2 comments:

engel said...

i don't know what to say.

isip ko, bakit hindi pa niya maiwan si joe?

i guess i'll have to wait for your last part.

Gaspard said...

it would really help if you get to say something...anything...sigh...

dati ko pa iniisip yan pero nasagot na sa akin ni Luch yan...dahil may pinagsamahan na sila...they've been through a lot together already...Joe was there for Luch whenever he needed him, especially sa lowest point sa buhay ni Luch (death of his grandma)...doon nya daw napatunayan na mahal nga siya ni Joe at mahal nya pa din si Joe...