Tuesday, February 1, 2011

När Vi Inte är Säkra (When we're really not so sure...)

Mahirap maging isang kabit. Pramis. I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone I know. Mahirap kung ikaw ay isang kabit or kung may kabit ka. Duh.

But I chose this because I love him. And I'm constantly preparing myself to whatever things will happen to us.

Medyo mag-e-emo ako ngayon kasi may nangyari kahapon. Sort of.

It was a great Monday for both Luch and I. Umaga pa lang, ako na ang tumambad sa pintuan nang condo ni Luch. (Maaga umalis si Joe. He had to go to work eh.)

Joe doesn't know that Luch won't be going to work that day. He filed for a vacation leave para buong Monday kami magkasama ni Luch. Hehehe. (I know what some of you guys are thinking.)

We started our Monday with some cuddling and kissing. Hindi pa din nawawala ang sermon nya sa akin about sa "thing" na nangyari. Eventually, nagutom na din kaya kumain ng breakfast. And since we missed each other so much, nag-jerjer sa umaga! Hahaha! After some cleaning ng condo, we went out. He had some things to do first so pumunta muna kami ng bank. Medyo nagulat ako when he said na pupuntahan namin ang sister nya. We'll be taking an MRT ride pa. Syempre hindi ako pumayag kasi maarte ako. Feeling ko kasi hindi ako nakaayos. Nakakahiya naman. 

Napapayag ko si Luch sa kaartehan ko. Hahaha. Hindi pa pala tapos. Pumunta daw kami ng mall. Sabi ko okay lang. Ang weird para sa akin ang lumabas nang hindi masyado naka-ayos. Naka-pambahay lang ako nang mga oras na yun eh, pati na din si Luch.

We walked from our condo to Greenbelt. It feels good to walk with him. Parang wala nang ibang tao sa mundo. Sigh...

We passed by sa isang park when we were walking. Bigla ko naalala si Chuck and napag-usapan na din namin ni Luch si Chuck. If you wanna know who Chuck is, you can just search my blog. (Si Chuck ay isa sa mga "nanligaw" sa akin before pero may boyfriend na sya. At ang boyfriend nya ay ang boss ng boss ng boss ko. Ang gulo.)

We continued to walk towards Greenbelt. Paikot-ikot lang kami sa Greenbelt and Glorietta. We have tons of time to spend together naman eh.

Naka-T-shirt lang at shorts. Naka-tsinelas pa! Saan ka pa! Parang bahay lang namin ang Greenbelt 5! Hahaha! Feeling ko nga ang itim na ng paa ko dahil sa alikabok sa daan. Hehehe.

Lunch was very good kasi madami na naman kaming nakain. Hehehehe. Busog na busog. Bilog na naman ang aking tiyan. Hehehe.

We went to Timezone after we ate. Trip namin ang mag-videoke eh. Muntik na naman ako mahuli ng aking mga officemates dun. Buti na lang hindi yata kami napansin. Whew. Buti na lang may vacant na videoke room.

We sang there the whole afternoon. From fun songs to cheesy ones. And those that made us remember things. SOBRANG KINILIG AKO SA KINANTA SA AKIN NI LUCH!!! I know this might sound cheesy and mushy but I don't care. While he was singing one of our songs, I could feel his love for me. I know that he will always be there for me, kahit na ganito nga ang aming situation. We held hands inside that small videoke booth. I love this guy here. And so we kissed. Wala namang nakatingin eh.

After videoke, we decided to go home na din. We bought some smoothies and walked back to our condo. The evening was going perfectly well, until we realized that Joe is still not replying to Luch's texts.

It goes like this. Luch calls or texts Joe first to know if Joe will be staying at the condo. If Joe says that he won't be going to Makati or to Luch's condo, then I will spend the night there with Luch. Kung nagsabi na doon si Joe, edi wala ako dun! Hahaha!

This is what happened last night. It was already night time but we don't want to go back yet to our condo so we bought some chips and we went straight up to the condo's rooftop. At that point, kinakabahan na kami kasi hindi pa din nagre-reply sa mga calls and texts si Joe. 

Ang lamig sa rooftop. I had to get my stuff nga eh para walang evidence na may kasama si Luch sa condo nya. I wore his jacket. It still smells like him. Eventhough we're still not sure if Joe will come or not, we just tried to enjoy the rest of the evening together. Tawa kami ng tawa sa mga jokes namin sa isat-isa. Sa mga funny experiences namin. Mga kapamilya, kaibigan at sa pag-utot. Hehehehe.

Finally, nag-reply na si Joe. Nasa Shangri-La lang sya. We were like "gasp!". Ang lapit lang pala ni Joe. A lot of things were going through my mind that evening. Things like "paano kaya kung mabuko na kami...." or "ano ang gagawin naming excuses...".

"Luch, paano kung nabuko na tayo ni Joe?"

"Hindi ko alam, Gaspard. But I want you to stay. Hindi ko kayang mawala ka."

"I think Joe feels something. Baka nga mag-suprise visit yun one time eh."

I know that Luch won't leave Joe too.

The rest of the evening was torture for the two of us.

Pinababa na kami ng guard from the rooftop so tumalon kami ng building. Joke lang. Corny. Alam ko. Going back, pinababa na nga kami ng guard kaya bumalik na kami ng unit namin. Kinakabahan kami. Ako nga, hindi din mapakali. We were both tired na din from all the walking but we can't sleep baka bigla na lang kasi magpakita si Joe sa condo at magulat sya kung bakit nandun ako.

Ayaw pa ako paalisin ni Luch kaya he told me to sit na lang sa isang chair and pretend that I just arrived there 5 minutes earlier and I'm waiting for my dad to make me sundo (konyo?) para sabay na kami umuwi. Luch will just pretend that he's doing something in his laptop.

Pagod na talaga kami. I stayed in bed with Luch without noticing that I was falling asleep na din pala.

Natatawa na lang kami sa nangyayari. Niloloko ko nga si Luch eh.

"Paano ko kaya sya mako-convince na kakadating ko lang 5 minutes earlier kung may muta na ako sa mata at magulo ang buhok ko? Hahaha!"

We both decided that I should stay at a different place muna until Luch is sure that Joe won't be staying there. I stayed somewhere in Ayala and Luch waited for Joe's reply. Finally, Luch called me. The coast is clear. I went back to his condo. Madaling araw na. I feel so haggard.

When I got there, I quickly changed clothes, naghugas ng mukha at paa, kissed Luch goodnight, bagsak sa kama, tulog!

Ang hirap maging kabit. Oo. Pero mas mahirap kapag hindi mo kasama ang mahal mo.

We all can be sometimes stupid when it comes to love. It's just the degrees that vary.

If he's doing risky things just to be with me, then I'll do the same. I love you Luch.




Sobrang mahal kita, bebeboy.

4 comments:

iurico said...

ayokong mambasag ng trip kaya suportahan ta ka. hehe

I just hope that when that time comes (Joe knowing) you'd be able to look back at the relationship with Luch understanding that it was all worth it.

Gaspard said...

thanks iurico...but to tell you honestly, its all worth it...sobra...

thanks for dropping by too! hugs!

Fickle Cattle said...

Insane, but that's human relationships for you. We do insane things. :-) Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright in the end.

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Gaspard said...

yeah i hope so too :P

thanks for dropping by Fickle Cattle! Hugs! :D