Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hur Du Skapar Din Egen Spöke

Sabi sa akin ni Luch, nag-e-emote na naman ako. Hindi ko daw maiwasan na I let my emotions get ahead of me. Well, ganun talaga eh.

This is what happened.

We were on our last night sa Bulacan. I was just lazing around sa terrace ng house nila when Joe, the other boyfriend, called. They were setting up plans for Valentines next year. All of a sudden, bigla akong nalungkot. At hindi lang basta lungkot. O.A. na lungkot. Ewan ko ba. Alam ko na naman ang pinasok ko pero hindi ko pa din mapigilan ang magselos.

I told Luch...

"So wala pala akong gagawin sa Valentine's next year..."

Maluhaluha pa ako...Hahaha! Joke lang. Sad lang.

"Ano ka ba boink. Eh mas mauuna pa nga ang anniversary natin dun."

"Eh magkaiba yun eh."

"Mas importante naman sa akin ang anniversary eh. Wala lang sa akin ang Valentines kasi pwedeng araw-araw naman Valentine's eh."

FINE. Kinilig ako dun. Pero I was still sad.

Mahirap pa din ang makihati lang.

Actually, mas madalas na ako ang kasama ni Luch in comparison to his other boyfriend Joe pero I still feel "not-so-complete-since-may-kahati-ako-sayo" kind of feeling.

I asked him, if he was in my position. What would he feel?

"Alam mo, i-manage mo lang ang emotions mo eh."

"Magseselos ka ba?"

"Oo naman pero kasi.... (the I cut him off)"

"Sabi mo oo. Hehehe. Ayun na yun."

"Isip bata ka pa din."

_____________________________________________________

When we came back to Makati, I was really looking forward to spend the whole day with Luch pero....for some coincidence, nagkasalubong kami ng landas ng kanyang bestfriend na tawagin na lang natin sa pangngalan na Peron.

A brief background...

Si Peron ay bestfriend ni Luch. Kwento sa akin ni bebeboy, nagkakilala sila ni Peron kasi type ni Peron si Luch. At doon na umusbong ang kanilang pagkakaibigan. Actually, they've been bestfriends since forever (8 years na daw) at madami nang pinagdaanan ang mga beking iyon. May konting inasikaso si Peron sa kanilang province kaya nawala sya sa Manila/Makati ng ilang months so I only get to meet Peron through the telephone. You see, Peron calls occasionally. At kapag tumawag yan, ayun...todo chikahan ang mga bakla. Doon mo din makikita na bakla talaga si Luch. Hehehe.

Going back....

Ayun...so nagkita nga sila sa labas ng condo. Nagulat lang ako kasi muntik na sila magbeso-beso sa labas. Hahaha!

So I was able to meet his bestfriend, finally.

Sa loob loob ko, WRONG TIMING NAMAN! Ngayon ko na nga lang masosolo si Luch eh!

And so, like any good-natured, well-mannered, prim and proper boy like me, I was nice and accommodating, kahit na sinira nya ang aking plano sa maghapon na iyon nang hindi nya nalalaman.

I was kinda surprised that afternoon nga eh. Luch was like on gay-amplifying drugs. Naumay yata ako sa salitang "beki", "bakla", "booking", "chupa" etc...

I was kinda relieved when Peron told us na hanggang 4pm lang sya kasi may booking sya.

Since pagod pa kami ni Luch sa biyahe, we slept muna while Peron was watching TV. Medyo maganda na ang gising ko UNTIL he said na hindi na lang daw sya tutuloy sa booking nya. Luch was very happy since makaka-bond nya ang isang kapwa diwata na super bestfriend nya talaga. (MGA BAKLA!)

Ayun. Nadurog ang puso ko. Pero I still acted to be nice and nothing's bothering me.

I was like "Ano ka ba! Friend ni Luch yan! Be nice! Ang tagal na nilang hindi nagkikita! Behave!"

Fine.

So ayun. I was kinda expecting na Peron will go na din since its about dinner time and may curfew siya sa kanyang tinutuluyan. PERO HINDI! HINDI TALAGA!

He decided to eat dinner with us.

I still acted cool, calm and collected. Poise mo hijo. Ang wrinkles!

Hindi na ako ginanahan kumain. That's when Luch noticed that there's something wrong with me.

"Bakit hindi ka yata kumakain? You barely touched your food."

"Hindi ako gutom. Madami kasi tayong nakain kanina."

Luch was still suspicious.

So we went up back to the condo after dinner. Dito...Dito na talaga naglaho ang pangarap na gabi ko.

Peron decided to sleep over. Of course, happy si Luch kasi mega bonding sila.

I was just like...sige. Fine. Nangyari na eh.

The three of us were talking sa rooftop ng condo. I was telling them that my Dad was calling me since may reunion silang magbabarkada at gusto ni Dad na nandun din ako.

My Dad keeps on texting me nasan na daw ako.

Then Peron said....

"You can go. I'll just stay here with Luch. Dito na lang ako matutulog."

&!#*^#@^@!

Dito na naman ako nag-start maging paranoid.

- I just met Peron and I dont fully trust him.
- Every 5 minutes, sex comes out of his mouth. I'm guessing that he's just that horny.
- I know for a fact na naging crush ni Peron si Luch....AT MAY NANGYARI na sa kanila before.
- BAKA KAPAG WALA NA AKO, BIGLA NYA NA LANG HALAYIN SI LUCH!!!

I made an excuse just to go out of the rooftop. Sinabi ko na I'll just call my Dad.

I hurried papunta ng condo.

I'M A BAD PERSON!!!! I WAS JUDGING THIS GUY RIGHT AWAY WHEN I JUST MET HIM??? AND THE FACT THAT HE'S LUCH'S BESTFRIEND! (I dunno but there's something really...uhhhmmm...basta something na weird sa kanya na hindi ko ma-pinpoint.) The fact na he's horny at baka pagsamantalahan niya si Luch!

Luch texted me.

"Bebeboink?"

Hindi na kasi ako bumalik sa rooftop.

So I just sucked it in. Wala na akong magagawa eh. And Luch seems to be enjoying Peron's company.

_________________________________________________________

Kinaumagahan....

Todo yakap (more like naka-pulupot) ako kay Luch kasi takot ako na mahalay ni Peron si Luch.

Biglang nagising si Luch. Naalimpungatan yata.

"Kinalabit mo ba ako?" asked Luch.

Sabi ko hindi.

Medyo tumaas ang dugo ko. Grrr. Did that Peron guy just touched my guy?

_________________________________________________________

This morning, Luch and I had a talk. Umalis na muna si Peron kasi he has to attend to something. Pero babalik pa din daw siya later. They will meet their other friends sa "gym".

"Bebeboy, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

" I dunno why Peron and I dont click with each other. I think its a big deal kasi he's your bestfriend and I dont seem to jive with him. And the fact na I know that I'm a bad person kasi I'm judging him agad agad, pero I can't help to think of him as someone na horny. Every 5 minutes, puro sex ang lumalabas sa bibig nya! Takot naman ako na iwanan kayo ditong dalawa kasi baka naman bumigay ka sa kanya...."

Luch cut me off.

"So ganun pala ang tingin mo sa akin. Kung kani-kanino lang pumapatol. Alam mo wala pa akong naging boyfriend na full yung trust sa akin. Ang tingin sa akin puta."

I crossed the line so I shut up.

(awkward silence)

I hugged him.

"Sorry. Paranoid lang talaga ako eh. Kasi takot na ako na maki-share pa ako sa iba." sabi ko.

"Alam mo okay lang. Nasanay na din ako. Pero sasabihin ko sayo ulit kasi nakakalimutan mo palagi. Hindi ako katulad ng iniisip mo. Good boy ako.

Kung maiwan man kaming dalawa ni Peron, magke-kwentuhan lang kami. At never kaming magtatabi sa iisang bed kasi alam nyang ayaw ko nang may katabi na hindi ko boyfriend. Kung dati man ay may nangyari sa amin, sobrang dati pa yun kasi magkakilala na kami even before kami nagkakilala ni Joe.

Ikaw lang naman ang gumagawa ng sarili mong mga multo eh.

Ganun nga ang bestfriend ko. Sex at booking nga ang laging binabanggit pero naglolokohan lang kami nyan. Ganun lang talaga kami maglokohan kapag magkakasama kaming friends.

Kung ikaw, hindi pa kumpleto ang tiwala mo sa akin, okay lang. Kasi isip mo yan eh. Hindi ako magpapaliwanag sa taong sarado na ang isip in the first place. Pero ako, basta, I'm keeping my promise. I'm a good boy just like what you told me to do.

Kung hindi man kayo magkasundo ni Peron, okay lang sa akin kasi hindi naman sila ang boyfriend ko eh. Ikaw ang boyfriend ko."

__________________________________________________

Oo na. Ako na talaga. Ako na talaga ang may pinakamahabang buhok (sa ilong) sa lahat ng lalaking paranoid sa partner nila.

Alam ko mali ako sa ibang bagay na ginagawa ko. And most of the time, I cross the line. Buti na lang natitiis ni Luch iyon. Hehehe.

"Alam mo bebeboink, napagdaanan ko na kasi yan dati. Graduate na ako sa ganyang klaseng ka-immature-an."

__________________________________________________

We still have a lot of growing up to do as a couple Luch pero I'm looking forward to grow with you. Kasi mahal kita.

Ayokong dumating yung point na feeling mo, nasasakal na kita. I dont want to steal your time away from your friends kasi hindi lang naman ako ang tao sa buhay mo. Plus, he is your bestfriend and I know that he's someone important din sayo kaya I'm really trying to act as nice and as civil as possible, kahit na ilang beses nya sinira ang quality time ko sayo in just less than 12 hours.

I love you, Luch!


















PERO WAG MONG SASABIHING DYAN NA NAMAN MATUTULOG SI PERON MAMAYA AH!

__________________

P.S.

I know I'm such a bad person for saying this in my blog. My apologies pero this is what I really feel right now. So go ahead. Tell me Im immature, a bad person and paranoid. Sigh.

2 comments:

gillboard said...

valid naman yung fear mo, and knowing his history meron ka din reason to worry. i don't think it's OA. there are people talaga who you won't get along that easily.

hanggang dito lang muna ang comment baka may masabi pa akong iba. :D

-engel

Gaspard said...

ano naman kaya ang masasabi mong iba? hhmmm..

thanks for dropping by gillboard! I mean engel!

Hahaha!

Say hello to Kid :D