Saturday, September 17, 2011


I heard this song when I was just a froshie (yes, we have a different term for freshmen) in DLSU. My hot Philosophy professor made us listen to this song to think or ponder about the life and our existence.

Warning. This song might send chills down your spine. You might notice yourself tearing up a bit. The lyrics are very powerful, I must say. Too powerful for some, maybe.

Oh well. Just listen to the song.

I died in a car crash two days ago
Was unrecognizable
When they pulled me from the gears
No one's fault, no one's bottle
No one's teenage pride or throttle
Our innocence is all the worse for fears
The other walked away alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

My lover sits, the silent eye
In a hurricane of warmth and word
My mother trembles with the sobs
Whose absence seems absurd
My sister shouts to let her see
Through the cloud of crowd surrounding me
My colleagues call for silence in my name

I died in a car crash three months ago
They burned me until I glowed
And crumbled to a fine gray sand
Now I am nothing, everywhere
Several breaths of strangers' air
And all thoughts ever written in my hand
They plant my tree out in the yard
It grows but takes the winter hard

My lover puts a knife to wrist
Says tomorrow comes, hold on a while
My mother tosses in the sheets
And dreams me holding my own child
My sister plays our homemade tapes
Laughs as tears stream down her face
My office door now bears a different name

I died in a car crash four years ago
My tree drinks melted snow
Just eight feet tall a pale and fragile thing
Bee stings beaches bright vacations
Sunburnt high-school graduations
A sparrow healing from a broken wing
This year a glimpse of second chances
Tiny apples on my tree's branches

My lover hears the open wind
And crawls blinking into the sun
My mother leafs through photographs
And thinks "yes she was a lovely one"
My sister can't decide her truth
Asks aloud what I might do
In a conference hall my brief efforts engraved

I died in a car crash
A lifetime ago it seems
Been a decade or two or three
They've just release a new design
Bars and bags front and behind
My fate now an impossibility
Safely packaged hurtling down
The highway hardly make a sound

My lover very much alive
Arms wrapped now around his wife

Friday, September 9, 2011


Gym. Oo. Nung August pa. Nagwo-work-out na kasi ako. Kelangan ko na maging hot. Para sa aking nalalapit na kaarawan sa susunod na buwan. Siguro, kung matutupad nga, eto na yata ang pinakamagandang regalo ko sa sarili ko. Meron na naman kasi akong gwapong mukha, with cheekbones and jawline to match (ang saya magbuhat ng sariling bangko!), kulang na lang ay ang isang "hot-bangin-bod" para naman maglaway na ng tuluyan sa akin si Luch. Hehehe.


Para sa inyong kaalaman, ako ay lumaking mataba. Nung preschool and elementary, sikat ako sa school kasi bukod sa lagi akong may dalang pasalubong na Big Breakfast (c/o Mcdo) for my teachers at donation na electric fan (c/o Mama), ako ay cute at mabilog. Mukha akong siopao. Kulang na lang may dot na red or yellow sa noo ko, complete na.

Naging "medyo" fit ako nung grade 6 up to 1st year highschool ko kasi I took karate lessons pero after that, I quit na din. Hindi keri ng schedule ko. Joke lang. Hindi ko lang kasi gusto yung karate.

So after that, nagsimula na akong lumaki. Horizontally and vertically. Ang saklap lang. Ang taba ko. At my biggest, I had a waistline of 40 inches and that was during my Junior Prom. Ewwwnesss.

But then something happened. A miracle. At hindi Coat Saver (corny). The weight was coming off without me doing anything. My appetite was still the same. Pang-contruction worker/pedicab driver/kargador sa pier ang sikmura ko. And this continued up to college. Naiinggit ang mga friends ko nga sa akin eh. Hehehe.


This time, I think I was too thin na. I need to gain, not fat, but muscles. Yes. At dahil dyan, I go to the gym regularly na. Five times a week. Haggard mode lang. Pero so far, I can feel and see the results. I can feel that my arms and chest are more firm. My "baby fats" are melting away. My legs feel more toned. My butt looks lifted! BUT I still have tons of work to do. First month ko pa lang naman eh.


ANG MGA CRUSH KO AY NAKITA KO NA NG MALAPITAN TALAGA! POTEK NAMAN! ULAM! Next time magbabaon ako ng kanin para kapag may lalabas ng locker room, sabay subo ako ng rice! Yummmeeehhhh!


Ito ang list ng mga crush ko sa gym (a.k.a. My Inspirations)

Hideo Muraoka

Kim Gantioqui

Ivan Dorschner

Akihiro Sato

Benjamin Tang

At syempre ang ultimate crush ko sa lahat, ang aking Bebeboy, na sobrang hot and sexy (aaaayyyyyiiiieeee!) si Luch! Sayang pero hindi ko pwede ipakita ang picture nya dito so ito na lang. Ang picture ni Luch Zanirato. Hehehe.

*** I got an email from the ULTIMATE CRUSH to remove the picture. His wish is my command. Anything for my Luch. Hihihi. And yes kinikilig pa din ako sa email nya. Hahaha. (Ang loser ko hahaha) ***


Alam kong madami pa akong kakaining bigas at iinuming protein shakes pero ka-career-in ko na ito. I have never been called the "hot guy" before. Konting tiis lang naman eh. And I've never felt so alive. Iba talaga kapag nag-e-exercise, lalo na kung ganyan ang makikita mo sa gym. Hahaha.

Cheers to a healthier life!

Humanda kayo!

Sa mga nang-api sa akin! Maghihiganti na ako!

Hindi na ako ang nakilala nyong Buttman!

Hindi na ako isang lollipop!

On my 22nd birthday, this coming October....






Friday, September 2, 2011

Grattis på födelsedagen!

Hindi ko alam ang ireregalo ko sa birthday ni Bebeboy. Nakaka-stress lang. I wanted something "perfect" to give him. Something that he can use. Something that he can wear. Something that will remind him of me. Something not that expensive (yung tipong presyong estudyante lang. Haha.). Pero something that's not cheap either. Hhhhmmmm. Something that I think he will appreciate.

Oh well.

Nahirapan lang ako.

Pero I thought of making something for him na lang. Para medyo personalized. And magagamit nya din. And pinaghirapan ko. Something that is unique. Yung tipong sya lang ang may ganoon sa buong universe.

Naghalungkat ako ng mga art materials sa bahay namin at dumeretso ako sa kwarto ko. (Ang dami ko palang art materials na hindi na ginagamit. Sayang lang. Like oil pastels, oil paint, chalk pastels, color pencils, watercolor pencils, acrilic paints, poster paints, aqua gel pastels, charcoal pencils, crayons, douche paint and so forth. Nakakahilo lang. Sayang. Yung iba may tag price pa. Oh well. Ayusin ko na lang sila next time.)

I was thinking. I'm very good when it comes to using oil paint, color pencils and chalk and oil pastels. So igagawa ko ba sya ng portrait? Hhhmmm. Saan nya naman kaya ide-display?

So change of plans. Igagawa ko na lang sya ng personalized gift certificates. Bongga! Personalized, unique at magagamit!


Up to this moment, hindi ko pa din tapos gawin yung mga gift certificates. At tapos na ang kanyang birthday. Sigh. Sabi ko na lang sa kanya, ginagawa ko pa. At tsaka hindi pa naman tapos ang taon eh. (Ang lame ng excuse ko. Sigh.) I remember nung birthday ko last year, pinaghanda nya ako IN THEIR HOUSE WITH HIS FAMILY and RELATIVES. Most important of all, naging kami on my birthday. How can I top that?

He's 31 years old na so I decided that I will give him 31 gift certificates. Syempre, nontransferable yung mga yun. At hindi din convertible to cash. Hehe. Eto ang nasa list ko.

1. 1 home cooked meal (choose between breakfast, lunch or dinner) (para mapractice na din ako magluto)
2. dinner for two on any restaurant you want to eat (mahilig kasi ako kumain)
3. 1 hour full body massage (since alam kong palagi syang pagod sa work)
4. 1 hour full body massage
5. 30 minute foot and leg massage (dahil gusto ko)
6. 30 minute foot and leg massage
7. 1 facial using my St. Ives and L’Oreal kit ("kikoy" din naman kasi ako. LOL)
8. 1 pasta meal of your choice
9. 5 minute French kiss
10. 10 minute blowjob (Hihihi!)
11. karaoke night
12. sing a song of your choice
13. 1 sweet and warm hug
14. coffee or hot chocolate
15. cuddling for 20 minutes
16. get a makeover day
17. 30 minute arm and hand massage
18. 30 minute arm and hand massage
19. 10 minute handjob (Hehehe)
20. sex! (PAK!)
21. 3 kinds of desserts
22. 1 movie night for two
23. 2 baked goodies
24. shower together
25. out of town trip (pag-iipunan ko muna ito syempre)
26. a dance (Bahala na kung anong dance!)
27. photoshoot together
28. play arcade games
29 to 31 anything (para naman may choice din sya)


I told him na naghahanap ako ng gift na pwede kong ibigay ko sa kanya.

Eto ang sagot nya.

"Alam mo boink, hindi naman ako more sa material gifts. Mas ma-a-appreciate kung ang gift mo sa akin ay magiging successful ka, yung ipa-prioritize mo yung pag-aaral mo, limited na ang pagiging-isip bata mo, everyday ka magi-gym..."



I'll do anything for this guy. Mahal na mahal kita Luch. Sobra. Happy Birthday.